Introduction
Relationships can be beautiful, but when they go bad, they can be potentially lethal. Breakups are traumatic events, especially when they are not mutually agreed upon. Following a breakup, many people lose their minds, become depressed, and engage in unhealthy lifestyle choices. It is important to note, however, that the pain of a breakup varies greatly depending on the nature or type of relationship one had with their partner. This could be due to the fact that they haven’t moved on from the relationship and strings from the past. It’s difficult to forget someone with whom you’ve shared wonderful memories and had some of the best times of your life. And the longer you have been together will determine the level of hurt and healing period. In this article, we will cover the five stages of griefing and the five most effective ways to move on after a painful breakup.
Common Reasons why people break up
Some of the known common reasons people break up are lack of emotional and sexual intimacy, lack of respect/understanding, poor communication, differences in life goals/aspirations and different forms of abuse. Breakups could be a healthy change, especially for individuals in abusive relationships.
Stages of grief after a breakup
A thorough understanding of the five stages of grief following a breakup will help to mitigate its effects and normalize the breakup experience.
- Denial: Whether you initiated the breakup or not, there is bound to be a stage where you believe your significant other will reach out to you and you can all mend your broken hearts. It is an unhealthy fantasy to believe that your partner still loves you and would reach out to you rather than face the reality that the relationship has ended.
- Anger: As reality begins to dawn on you, you will become enraged towards your partner. Your mind will be filled with memories of how much the other person hurt you during the relationship. Most people resort to revenge, but it is critical that you remain calm and do not make rash decisions.
- Bargaining: At this point, you may consider mending the relationship or transitioning it into friendship. Suggestions for going to therapy and changing bad habits emerge. A romantic relationship is difficult to transition into friendship, and the hurt from the breakup will linger. As a result, this is not the best idea.
- Depression: At this moment, it starts to sink in that the relationship is over and cannot be repaired. You experience severe depression and adopt bad habits to cope. It is normal to feel depressed, but adopting an unhealthy lifestyle could be risky.
- Acceptance: This is the last stage of grief; you accept your part in the breakup and realize that the relationship is over. You also comprehend what really caused the breakup. Although time takes time to cure all scars, the most crucial thing is to learn from your mistakes so that you don’t repeat them in the future.
Five most effective ways to handle a breakup
Before we get into the steps remember to always put yourself first and things happen beyond our control. Here are five effective ways to move on from a breakup.
- Stay in supportive groups: The best support networks you may discover are your family and friends. Socializing with individuals you trust and who can lend you a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to weep on will lessen the hurt feelings that come with breakups. You can talk about everything that went wrong in your relationship and let it all out, but refrain from doing this frequently lest you scare off your friends and relatives.
- Engage in Activities: Now might be the greatest time to give those clubs you wanted to join, that new skill you wanted to learn, or that passion you wanted to pursue, a try. Being inactive will give you a chance to think back on unpleasant memories, but being involved in something you enjoy is a terrific diversion. The good news is that you can enjoy your favourite activities while healing appropriately.
- Use social media in moderation: It’s common for lovers to cyberstalk one another on these sites. If you continue to monitor your ex on social media, how can you possibly wish to move on? Limiting or avoiding social media for a while until you can emotionally tolerate seeing your ex happy on social media again is one of the most effective strategies to move on.
- Skip the blame game: At some point, you have to come to terms with the situation and trying to figure out what went wrong and who should have acted differently won’t help you do so. Accept that the relationship is over and avoid dwelling on negative thoughts.
- Focus on yourself: Jumping into a new relationship as soon as possible after ending a relationship is another poor way for people to move on. The best course of action is to give yourself enough time to heal, reflect on the shortcomings of the previous relationship, identify your preferences, and learn more about yourself before moving on to the next one. This method will improve your appreciation of yourself as well as your understanding of the type of person you would want to spend the rest of your life with.
Conclusion
Although breaking up is the last thing every relationship wants to consider, it, unfortunately, happens frequently. Even though breakups can be upsetting, maintaining an optimistic attitude is essential for fresh beginnings.
