How to get into a Relationship with an Introvert

Written by Robin Okwanma

Pheew…This is actually a little complicated, so you’ve fallen for an introvert? and you don’t know how to make the relationship work. Or wait!! Are you the introvert? and you’re afraid things will go sideways or you’re not compatible. This is actually a serious issue that has lead to a lot of problems, heart breaks, break ups, and complications.

So how do you get into a relationship with an introvert? Let’s remind ourselves one major thing you might have forgotten; For any relationship to work, both parties involved have to be willing to compromise. Seriously, read that again if possible, you must be ready for compromises. Every one is different, different ways of thinking, acting, talking and generally living. If you are not willing to compromise some things for your partner, you should ask yourself if you’re really ready for a relationship.

Being an introvert is a shell that’s quite hard to break, same with extroverts, switching lifestyles is very hard. it’s possible, but don’t expect a miracle overnight after a few encouraging words. Lets look at some differences between introverts and extroverts;

Differences Between Introverts and Extroverts



Enjoy Spending Time Alone

Enjoy Spending Time With Others

Prefers Keeping Things With Themselves and Prrocess  Issues Internally

Likes to Talk Things Out With Others

Very Difficult To Open Up On Things

Can Easily Open Up on Even Personal Matters

Lack Stong Interpersonal Skills, Difficult to make friends

Good Interpersonal Skills, Can easily make new friends

Now, you know the differences, but that doesn’t help you one bit now does it? Don’t worry, we’re getting to the good part.

How to get into a Relationship with an Introvert

First of, keep in mind that both of you are very different and as i said above, silver linings have to be made. Is it worth it? Make sure the move you’re about to make is absolutely worth it, that’s the only way you’ll be able to see it through after all, just like every relationship that’s worth while, it requires effort. So let’s get to the good stuff, let’s see how to get in a relationship with an introvert, your direct opposite.

Don’t rush or be too direct

This part came first, many people make this mistake, although i admit, all outcomes are very different. Being an introvert is actually not that simple or linear, it’s always unique in some ways for each person. To be on the safe side, just don’t rush things, it usually doesn’t end well. Besides, why would you want to rush into a relationship with anyone? Introvert or not, just don’t rush. Let it go slow and easy or risk rushing into chaos.

Don’t Change Your Personality

Ah yes, another big mistake you’ve probably already made. Don’t just don’t even try to change your personality just to get closer to any introvert. Be yourself, say the truth on what you like or prefer else you’ve just made a time bomb that will surely go off in the future.

Be a Good Listener and Pay Attention to Details

Alright, enough of things you shouldn’t do. You want to get closer to an introvert? Then you definitely shouldn’t go yapping on and on about yourself at every chance you get. I’m not saying you shouldn’t talk or you shouldn’t talk about yourself. Your main priority should be trying to get your partner to open up to you. Listen to every thing the person says and pay attention to details. After all, knowledge is power.

First, Be Friends, Then Be Close Friends

As we’ve already emphasized before, the chances of you getting in a relationship with an introvert without first becoming really close friends is really slim. Not impossible, just slim. Try becoming friends first, be serious with your thoughts and intentions. Build your friendship with lot’s of communication and don’t forget to listen and pay attention to details.

Don’t Push Too Hard

There’s no harm in giving a little nudge every now and then believe me some introverts just need that little nudge. It can be very annoying dealing with an introvert sometimes. The reaction is usually along the lines of “arrrrgggghhhhh whyyyy?” You need to remember that that’s just how they are, just find a way to deal with it.

Find and Engage in Things You Both Like

Instead of forcing your partner or yourself to engage in activities you or the person you wan to ask out isn’t comfortable with, try finding the similar hobbies. There is always something in fact, there would be a lot of things you would both love doing, find them.


So I’m going to remind you again, ask yourself and make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons. Getting into a relationship with an introvert can be easy, difficult, basically unpredictable because it’s not that simple. Everyone is different in many ways, even introverts. Don’t give up, don’t feel discouraged, as long as you’re really into that special person, it’s worth the try. I hope with the little points above, Ive been able to shed some light on the matter.

So tell us, what’s your take on introverts? have you ever dated one? How did it go? Please tell us using the comment section below


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About the author

Robin Okwanma

Hi, I'm Robin Okwanma. Software Engineer || Django, Python || React, React Native || Blogger. Technical Writer.

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