Public Opinion: Women Dating Younger Men in Nigeria

Written by Flora Ayoka

The world has held women over the years accountable for their choices in men. The primitive man is regarded as one who possesses the strength to hunt and protect his family.

Even with modernization, it is no surprise to still see women who are attracted to a man that exudes some certain kind of strength.

A man who is quite older is perceived to be well exposed, mature, knowledgeable and strong.

Perhaps, it is for this reason that some society views a normal relationship between a man and a woman to be one where the man is the older partner.

Society seldom questions the choice of men dating and marrying younger women as long as the woman is a legal adult. But the same society will question women seen with younger men.

Times are changing and the adage “age is but a number” hasn’t been well explained before now.

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The term Age-hypogamy is defined as a relationship where the woman is the older partner.

This is increasingly becoming a trend in our society today. And why society is yet to adjust to this new living, people are not afraid to love.

You can say that what women look for in particular isn’t a man who is older but a man who is able to exhibit a form of strength and protection.

She still has that primitive drive in her to be with a man who can protect her.

She can as well find these characteristics in a younger man, given that he is mature enough to understand and carry out certain responsibilities required of him with mutual respect and love.

The Nigerian situation is not quite different; people are yet to adjust to seeing an older woman in a loving relationship with a younger man.

The stereotyped is associated with the young man being with the woman not on the basis of love but on material terms, and when the man is the wealthier partner, there comes the fertility issue and the ageing quicker than the man debate.

When all these isn’t enough to buttress their disapproval they attempt to open the eyes of the woman to the fact that he is a young man and would soon go after young women.

Many women are criticized and chastised when they are seen with a man younger than they are whether it is a year age gap.

It is quite biased that this same amount of negativity is not given to a man who marries a woman young enough to be his daughter as we have witnessed on so many grounds.

Rather society cheers him on and goes ahead to explain why this is possible for a man. They pull the fertility card but we all know that science has made things easier for a couple to have their own children.

The choice in dating and marrying a partner younger than themselves only proves that both gender desire young and attractive partners.

Love is naturally hard to find, even harder to find with your ideal kind of person. Love has no age limit; about anyone with emotional feelings has the ability to love.

Age shouldn’t be a yardstick in measuring who to love or be with romantically. Society is yet to learn that the term “age is but a number” is really what it is in all sense of the word.

Everyone should be allowed to date anyone they find love whether it be an older woman and a younger man or a younger woman and an older man as long as there is mutual respect, understanding and love.

I believe everyone has the freedom to love whoever they want to irrespective of the age difference as long as the person is not underage.

Many women have found love in younger men but are afraid of taking it further because of society’s opinion.

It is no secret that the bolder ones to do so are celebrities such as Darey Alade and his wife Deola Ayeni, and famous Nigerian dancer Kaffy and Joseph Ameh among others.

For these couples, age has never been an issue for them to love and be loved. They are breaking the stereotype; the normal for all is fair in love and war.

Yes, it is a war when you are trying to break the stereotype, that a man must not be the older partner in the relationship.

Perhaps, if such relationships can continue to become more common in Nigeria, we might see little to no criticism.


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About the author

Flora Ayoka

Hi, I'm Flora, I am a trained social worker who loves baking but my first love will always be writing. Follow me on my social handles.